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| WHY |
| 06.22.04 (2:41 am) [edit] |
i'm moving to live journal
www.livejournal.com/users/lxinying.
i feel like my worlds shifting. under the very ground i stand on.
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| Goodbye |
| 06.04.04 (5:54 pm) [edit] |
I think that's it, i can';t stand the tblog thingy. i'll move back to my [url=http://xinying.mirrorz.com]original site. [/url]
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| bio-indicator, mood indicator, personality indicator |
| 05.27.04 (1:26 am) [edit] |
I wrote this during bio, after i got back my physics test.
I think in future, i'll practice writing more. I want to be a good writer, and am seriously considering taking up the profession, both eng and chinese. I don't know who's going to faint at this suggestion, but I do know I can try.
Silly little girl:
I live in a world. Where H+ ions do not exist. I live in a world, whereby knowledge equates power. But be very careful about that. Not ALL knowledge is so. Only extra knowledge gives you the power. To read up and know things that others don't, that itself, is pleasure. To read up and show others that you know much, that is power. However if all you know, people also know, what is the point? We've all tried memorising for tests at some point in time, and start to feel dread or hatred towards this subjects. But not me, for I'm the silly little girl. I speak of an utopia world. And I live in it too. People around me may deny of the untruthfulness of textbooks, and believe every word the teacher says, but me, I challenge
I go beyond where no one dares to tread(at least, that's what I prefer to think)
fUNNY OLD TREE=
YEah, they call me, the funny old tree. Funny thing is, they don't know how old I am. Actually, I'm not old, just about 1 month older than the batch of Sec 1's. But I grew fast. I was part of the project some sec 3 girls did. I think the silly little girl heard about it, came to see me, and spent her recess right here, bemoaning, groaning to the funny old tree. Those girls who created me, they wanted to make some plant that has an increased growth rate, something they learnt about in photoponics. THey did not expect me to grow from a seedling to a young plant overnight, and then to a young tree just in a week. I wasn't even supposed to be a tree, just some tall grass. I was, I suppose, an experiment gone wrong. That's why i look funny. That's why I look old. And the silly little girl, she's the same like me. She's my kind. She's not silly, not the least bit little, she's barely fifteen. She's not silly, but she acts silly, maybe, to fill up the void in her lonely heart. But she's interested in me at first, cos she's gone to convince herself she's something gone wrong too. She's her parents marriage gone wrong. She wasn't supposed to be here, she wasn't supposed to be smart, she wasn't supposed to do well. But do well she did. Just about anything but socially. Still well I suppose. And very interested in scientific research too. Spent half the time moaning about how she wanted to carry out investigations on me, to restore me back to my youthful state. But she never had the time or the resource, or the chance, especially not the courage. some other day, then. I'm used to being the funny old tree anyway.
Characters that sound similar to certain people are purely coincidential and a means for my expression and a source of information only. NO insults meant.
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| translation |
| 05.22.04 (2:31 am) [edit] |
IT's so HARD
ok..
Well at least I learnt a thing or too
about my language standards
and i'm happy to say that school's gonna be over
holidays gonna start
intensive training fall like mad
and then i'll start on my most awaited exchange programme ever.
it'll be the best days of my life, ever..
thunderpants:)
oh and romeo and juliet is nice! the movies version at least... juliet is so otherworldly..
and jeux d'enfants so nice too!
we're changing seats soon
DONT wanna change
wonders where I'm gonna be
and who i'll be with
i dont want to sit behind
and i dont want to sit according to results
it's depressing you know.
very.
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| Xinyin'g sadness |
| 05.18.04 (2:39 am) [edit] |
Good Morning one and all,
for the exclusive reports on the latest bug,
tune in to the Shout it OUT! every Tuesday afternoon, 4-5pm.
Now for some serious news.
On 18th May 2004, at precisely 1.23 p.m. , Xin Ying caught the latest bug.- known as the Xin Ying depression.
this bug was believed to have existed since 2001, when the bug manifested itself on XinYing's graduation moans. Then it fed on her soul, took away her life, but left her ability to dream. Symptoms include: setting too high a standard for oneself, feeling oh-so-blue every once two days, thinking the world doesn't care, whining about the miserable -ness of one's existence. Please look out for warning signs. If you have noticed a period of unbelievable silence, and if you have noticed that your head is in your books because you want to create a fantasy world right now, if you have noticed that you no longer make any attempt to speak to anyone else about your worries, but focus entirely on the things that you think you can control(examples include, manageable homework, long doses of exercise and sleep), then you probably have been hit by the Xin YIng depression. If you should feel the least bit unwell, physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually, do not hesitate. Go ask XinYIng for the reccomendations on how to treat each specific symptoms. If you encounter any problems, dial 1800, 999, 911HELP immediately. Should there be problems, please go online to the following website.http://whereismyhelp.com.sg
Should you encounter ANY dial =up problems, remember, this is a sign that the symptoms are getting serious. If any of your files mysteriously disappear, you're likely to be at the fourth and final stage of this illness. By then, you have progressed to a higher level of sickness. The Unbearingly Painful Teenage Depression. So, seek help immediately!
Rectify your computer as well!
Symptoms spread.
From Your classmates
To your computer
To your plants even!
To prevent catching this disease, please steer clear of people who caught the thing, as it is highly contagious, and spreads through the listening to people's verbal thoughts, as well as the highly notorious saliva droplets.
Take action and take care
Your lovely news presenter who has caught the bug.
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| teeny weeny me. |
| 05.13.04 (1:01 am) [edit] |
Chem tomorrow.,
chemistry.
life's chemistry..
i wonder which direction it'll take me...
sometimes i just change.
so?
why must I stay the same anyway
I change, bringing about better qualities
adding new imperfections
I may have rid my old mistakes
but I sure have new ones to make anyway
my mantra or whatever
for this phase in my life
or issiit phrase?
well.
is that
you don't always need to be the best, or among the best.
there can be only one best.
and it's so much work and pressure staying there anyway
the only best you must be
is your best.
go find it, then reach it
and constantly raise your standards
but please,
don't get depressed because you don't seem there
nobody is there anyway
there';s always someone who is better than the best
the best one changes every fraction of a second
do you really, really want to
enjoy that fraction of a second
or would you rather
enjoy your whole life?
so xinying.
wake up call.
good night.
you may dream sweet dreams
believe in them even
make them a reality
but don't go so high
till you fall off.
and disappear...
don't aim that much.
just be happy.
in small tiny steps.
YAY i ran 2.4
ithinkigotaroundthirteen.
i'msohappyformeandjoannet hatimanagedtoscrapeana.
andmuchbelowtheaorsomethi ng:)
i'lljiayouformyshuttlerun andnextyearimustgetaround eleven.
iwill.
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| bio lab |
| 04.27.04 (5:48 am) [edit] |
i was on fire?! looks amused
and feels burnt
well. it's my mishap in the first place.
thank god mrs tan was there
to save me n lemon.
oh man...
anyway. i'm beginning to like not stand
the pple from other countries.
in case u havent heard abt it.
there's this comment abt singaporeans
growing up on pig's feed
so meaning we ';re stupid
this was by a foreign student
i feel SOOOO insulted
i cant begin to tell you how insulting it is
they're smart
i know.
but so can we singaporeans.
it's not like only they are smart right?
and they earn their scholarships
come here, and excel
and we just stay overshadowed
in every form
my father says it's because they focus a lot on their studies
but heck. so do i.
correction. so DID i
but where did that get me?
not far i suppose/.
well. i'm sure it's not a matter of smartness
but different purpose for studying
and the environment.
and my father added that they've no social life.
this. i donno.
from what i observed
it seems so.
from obs and kayaking.
bleaurgh....
then i'd rather be a singaporean
and have a social life.
not like i really have one anyway.
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| so i'm histrionic. and avoidant. and obsessive.. |
| 04.14.04 (7:08 am) [edit] |
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: High
URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/...
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/...
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| the me that i'm not.the me i am but you never knew |
| 04.05.04 (6:11 am) [edit] |
what's getting into me
all these slacking..
and i thought i had determination
and never gave in to temptation...
*well, excluding food*
which is why i feel guilty and
i think i should do something about it
it seems like my weight is rapidly increasing.!
maybe i'll like, exercise more cos i don believe in eating less..
there's dear old SPA tomorrow
and i hope all these research i've done on enzyme pays off. but i doubt it lor...
well. and i did not study for my french test
expect that i wont do very well.
i shant say fail
cos if that happens next thing you know
this girl got no plans left...
and i really wonder about what it means
to be a teenager
i'm sure it's more than learning how to
"fit-in}
how to grow up..
then there's the friendships
the relationships
the overflowing imagination
the abundance of homework.
the everything
and self -expression..
everyone's eng seems to be so... polished:)
like yuj said.
people almost always end up in frenships of three.
a circle of friendship. usually at somepoint in time you'll find two people as your closest friends, or confidantes.
and i so happen to sit in this three seater .. yuj grasse n me:)..
well i suppose oncde in a while one of us will feel left out, like a third party, becos i'm fairly sure out of three, two pple will be closer to each other...
then the third one well.. eh
i don't know.
i really wish teachers teach more about this type of stuff
how to handle it and etc
becos if education is to make us thinkers
i think we're all educated
everybody thinks
if you never thought of anything on your own free will
you probably havent learn how to worry
and yes
i believe worrying is a skill you acquire in a vain attempt to cope with the stuff life's throwing in your direction
and to quote sara
it's like if you happen to be feminist
and if you think that well, without men, you'd be like walking in the highway of life, and with them you'd be with this brilliant car, cash.. whatever, and speeding on the highway of life... why don't you prefer walking in the highway of life? pause and take time to actually enjoy things the way they are, good or bad.. walk..! yourself!
why do you keep relying on others? just remember to watch out for the traffic lights. don't jaywalk*that often* it's ok to do it once in a while cos what's life without experience? the more variation you have in terms of lifetime experiences and memories, the more likely you are to lead a life fully lived.
so. walk on the highway of life once in a while. look at the cars speeding right past you and amuse yourself with the fact that they're more likely to crash their cars than you do. cos you value life. cos life is beautiful!
xin ying does an flying leap in an attempt to dance to the rhythm of life.
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| the happiness of being blue:.:.: |
| 04.02.04 (2:29 am) [edit] |
white. blue BLUE.
i'm glad i've gone up.
glad and happy to be a blue belt.
i know i probably won't catch up fast
but i also know
with hard work and practice i will catch up
someday.,
i'm glad that my instructor thinks i'm good.
becos apparently i like
suddenly realised the logic of aikido
on the day of grading itself
blue belter:)
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| progress report. did i progress?! |
| 03.24.04 (4:17 am) [edit] |
[image]xinying_515368538.gif[/image]
generally. most would love my report.
n from someone who isnt that egoistic;.
it's good i suppose
firstly. you see nice marks. relatively nice.
quite a lot of ee.s and one ae.
and it seems like most comments are positive.
nothing's new i suppose
that's what i expect.
becos it's been liddat since pri sch.
not the best.
but somewhere like above average.
maybe....
but the point is.
i'm glad with my results.
satisfied.
yet i feel weird.
i donno why. but at certain fixed points in time
i don think i deserve it.
but then i think back on the time i spent doing homework.
mind you. it's homework. NOT studying.l
actually i don study.
it's a good thing they count assignments.
cos i try very hard for those.
well in subjects i like at least.
like chinese. maths. french.
which reminds me i still haven got back my french test
and that i have this interview for the immersion thing on sat. which happens to be gep 20th anniversary.
ahhh. =X.
then i remember why i feel i must talk about my progress report.
it seems like grades are taking up the stage of my life
and all the bonding and stuff is nowhere near expectations.
maybe you could put it nicely and say.
this girl. not that nerdy. but quite of a hardworking mugger. or wateva. so. she's like gd in results. supposedly. she cares alot abt her marks. kiasu.
but she doesnt relate well to [pple.].
i donno lor.
i think that i do relate.
but u must give me time
i'm not the kind of person u'll see at this camp or sth
and my image'll linger in ur mind.,
you probably don notice me at all cos i'm like invisible.
i don talk to pple automatically most of the time
unless i feel really at home and think you dont.
so i try and help.
most of the time whatever social event i go for
i waste the first few hrs. (if it's long)
the first half hr(if it's short.)
and then i thoroughly enjoy the rest.
even though i'm acutely aware of how it seem like i'm a misfit. outcast. whatever labels you may feel like throwing upon me.
but when it comes to an end i start going crazy.
which is probably why i seem so different at the end of everything,
i hug pple i hardly consider a fren.
i start initiating conversations.
i start becoming sociable.
i start entertaining pple with my weird notions and thoughts.
i start having FUN.
then it ends.
and the tears start.
it 's ALWAYS liddat.
so. even when i meet my cousins for new year reunion
the same thing happens
if i go their house. and i'm early., i'll read book
if i'm late, and they're already playing chess or bridge or cousin-ing then i feel kind of left out and join the adults then starve myself with food, after which i sit back and watch the four of them play bridge.
because i kindly said.
oh never mind. you guys go ahead and play.
which they never bothered to go like swapping players once in a while.
unless somebody needs the toilet.
then it's like only samuel is ok with teaming up with me and playing bridge.
the rest say. nah. no thank you. one brain's enough.
so...
i donno
but i end up laughing at their jokes
they end up showing me their cards
prompting me for info becos i can like see everybody's cards.. and i feel part of it.
well that's what i think.
but then it's over.
we all go back to our own homes
only to meet again @christmas.
that's the way i "socialise".
which isnt like what others do..
unless they happen to be
a) my frens
b) my father
c) someone who has this type of talkative introvert -turn extrovert when excited personality.
especially someone who believes alot in passion and dreams.
d) some weird recluse, or some anti-social person
e) some hypocrite who actually doubles as a social butterfly.
e) all of the above.
ahh. multiple choice.
wonders.
would life be easy
if it was like multiplechoicequestions
MCQ. the wondrous gift we had in pri sch
the one that gave us THE marks.
would it be easy. if you have four roads to choose.
and you can , most of the time. fifty fifty it.
so actually you have two similar yet different choice
both of which seem right.
and.. wrong.
hard decision isn it...
maybe life's better off being an open ended book
with a diff topic for
each of us to write on....
even if you have the probability of being half right. (if it was MCQ)
open ended.
i like the sound of it.
if i had a topic in life
it's call healing
overcoming.
and becoming.
yes. mylife.
[i]xinying does an over split. numb from the emotional hurt and pain.
bends all the way back. and finally sees her leg.
the world upside down! made it. finally.[/i]
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| final. final . *not likely to the final one though*entry |
| 03.23.04 (3:21 am) [edit] |
i really wonder.
if pple actually come here.
most pple think i abandon my blog
even before i actually abandon it...
and when i update i seem to be talking nonsense
in a foreign language
of emotions
which they
can't empathise.
which is why
it's better off.
if i diary.
blog. that's for you guys reading this
diary.
and it wont matter
if i update
if this interest you.
if .... if i go on living my life in this big huge if.
i guess i'm not the kind of sociable gal.
but can be very talkative tho.
very.
which is why i need writing as an outlet.
to shut myself up.
i don't know. i do know i'm not like most people.
but sad to say. i've tried to be like them.
my theory then was. who likes to be different?
who likes feeling... weird.
not that i'm hypocritical. i donno
at times sometimes i feel like i don know myself.
but maybe i just think too much.
so much for not blogging.
i guess i'm trying. to accept. to adapt.
that i'm different.
because everybody is.
even if i stick out like a sore thumb
because of the way i think
behave.
because of who i am.
my interest. maybe. or my lack of interest.
in the popular stuff.
never was that type of person.
which (EEEK. i just realised i deleted my tagboard.
not that it was much of use anyway)!!
but still. eeek.
under my determination to like change this look
of this blog.
i deleted almost everything.
back to topic.
so i 'm constantly struggling
with pple who're like in.
as in. in with fashion. with friends.
life? i donno if they're in with that
pple who generally seem to follow otheres.
or the trend.
i donno if people around me are like that
but i do know most of my frens arent.
which maybe explain why i don have much friends.
i donno why i'm blogging all this.
but i need to let it go
to start again
after that three mths peak of wat? optimism
before which came depression.
at least i stayed optimistic for the first three mths this yr
but things change.
times change. people change.
and i haven adapted to the changes
i didnt realise i had issues with all these
i thot i pretty much adopted the i don care abt being in
attitude.,
not that i do, but that i'm conscious abt it.
when i walk off to chem labs and stuff.
and think of how i'm always stuck between the same old pple
my pple.
and how i don mix around with pple other than
grace. liming. qr. liewqi. yuj. cs. etc etc.
which means how i don talk to pple in 2/11...2/12
or something liddat.
and how i somehow never talked to pple like charmaine
even tho we were in the same class for one year.
it's sad.
but when i think of third lang.
jemima. cheesing. joanna.
i feel so at home.
i think i've finally figure out what drives my french results
why i always do the best in french(compared to other subs)
why i'll always love complaining dans un langue estrange
*don bother checking this in freetranslation cos i took away the accents.* which is good
cos i can write freely with few pple understanding wat it is.
partly cos my grammar's off. and cos i kind of secret code in. even in french. =).
how on earth am i going to finish blogging this.
go think abt my homework
is something i've pushed to the back of my mind.
i guess i can say i'm happy
and sad.
academically.,
i suck.. *pardon me*
what on earth happened to my chinese? my zuowen? my no 1 passion? it's not here anymore.
sure i can write zuowen.
but i'm getting busier
and now chenlaoshi don even allow us to choose own topic for suibi.
my bi de mo gan le... sigh.
then what happened to my chem? or sciences? for that matter. i donno wat's going on most of the time. but i pass the tests anyway. i don want to learn this way. no.
and my english? and my passion for language.
is dying.
i can't even record donw my thots properly.
as u can see from this superbly long entry which
isn't supposed to be the last entry.
what happened? to school life and me?
to my frens. and our frenship?
well it looks the same but it feels different,
it feels as tho.. i donno.
give and take. i give. and give. and give.
i donno abt the taking part.
i just don feel it. sometimes. but sometimes
i'm overwhelmed by their care.
and gym.
we're gonna compete soon.
and we don seem any better than one mth ago
our cheng gong lu: fluctuate.
if any of you xiaojiti pple reading this now.
jiayou. and remember to shoot for the moon...
but i guess somehow we'll get there.
we'll give out best.
k. and there's aikido.
i feel really pathetic there.
unless this guy(forgot his name) is there.. and ann and angeline.. and jenny. and huiyi. and jason. cos like the rest pretty much don care.
it hurts when pple don choose to partner u cos u're a girl
they figure u cant fight.
well that's prob cos they're from ns and stuff.
i donno why after 3 mth i still feel like i hardly knwo the people at all.
i had to partner these grp of REALLY naughty kids.
who yanked my arms. *thank GOD for my flexibility*
they like don want to be my partner cos i'm so much older then them. then ... they'll tease abt this person n me. eh. argh. ehhhhhhh.
exhausted. and third lang. ahhh i donno what's wrong.
becos after thinking logically NOTHING":s wrong
just my brain cells being over active.
oh and i love my girl.
reminds me of..
never mind. my primary sch. my childhood. memories.brought. sweeet.MBS.
and my ex-best fren.
here's my dad asking me to go offline now.
i don have the perfect family.
but i do have a loving one
sometimes too much
i know they care..
but it suffocates.
when they restrict abt everyhting .
but now i should heed their advice.
i've been typing for too long.
my eyes. already died. they can't afford to die again.
so bye.
my blog.
i hope one day u'll meet my diary.
when blog meets diary.
cool.
till then.
*xin ying. is not.
identity-less
xinying may be you.
there's so many xinying.
but there's only one me.
one very non-existent xinying.
but at least she's real.
*
for people who actually still want to tag. go to [url=http://www23.brinkster.com/tr...]my other site[/url]
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| moving |
| 03.19.04 (1:56 am) [edit] |
i'll be moving to [url=http://www.freewebs.com/lxiny...]another site. besides the xinying.mirrorz.com[/url]
where i'll no longer blog.
i 'll try not to blog anywhere.
but just concentrate on making a nice website.
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| OBS |
| 03.12.04 (9:44 pm) [edit] |
it's over.
wat to say?
that we CooKs Cooked up a story that was a part of our lives. this is our story. stored in our memories. with the forged bonds and sandy food. we stood together in the rainy nights. we suffered the ammonia together. we smiled through it. it's over.
i didnt really know how i could survive with these team of "strange" people. that i hardly know. and was rather unwilling to accept all the same.
but we made it ,cooks.
and now we miss it.
i've been kind of crazy yesterday, keep trying to finish those milo and soggy biscuits and stuff.
i don't want to be reminded of something that was once torture had to become enjoyable and now i have to miss it.
so i've stored my cert in a nice warm place with the rest of my certs. put the pic in somewhere where pple who doesnt know the me who wear specs will see it. and left the memories to be adrift in the current of emotions in my mind.
left the muscle aches to be.
left the sun tan and peeling nose as part of a souvenir from roughing it out at Pulau Ubin.
left the sea -sickness to morph into something like friendsickness... and here goes my blog.
i just want to thank you all, whether we've been close before these 5 days, or we've grown closer because of all the trials we had to put up with, or we've never been close at all. all 13 of u had a part to play, a role to make this story nice and memorable. for that i thank you.
for you and i. we make up the team.
and [url=http://www.btinternet.com/~basedata/Lighthouse.Family/high.htm]here's [/url] the high by lighthouse family lyrics.
thankew frens. in no paritcular order excpt alphabetical.
aiwen. chen hong. elaina. huijin. joanne. kaixuan. karin. kylie. lj. (yes him)suan woo. weiting. xiaojun. ying dan. zhao yan.
oh and here're some pics of my sunburn on the nose
to commemorate my sunburn:). obsessed me
[url=http://www23.brinkster.com/tr...]first[/url]
[url=http://www23.brinkster.com/tr...]second[/url]
Xin Ying [i]
stiffles a giggle, as she thinks back on the times.[/i]
Xin Ying's [i]
found herself.
Unique and all. at last.
merci.[/i]
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| i'm not crazy, you just never take time to see the real me |
| 02.25.04 (3:14 am) [edit] |
[b]tell me. i'm for real.[/b]
let me help myself but remember to guide the way.
What You Are Not
[i]Have you ever wanted to be
something you were not?
Have you ever dreamed of
Things not meant for you?[/i]
If you want to you can
Dream of the world you
Want and set your plans
Into motion, live life.
For once listen to your
Own advice and ignore
[u]The warnings of others
Do you think it's right?[/u]
Live this lifetime the best
You can and hope you learn
What you came to learn and
Go into the next one better.
[b]Be what you are not.[/b]Do the things not meant
For you. Listen to your intuition
[b]And see what you truly are.[/b]
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| wu ti. manipulating the english language ineffectively |
| 02.17.04 (1:42 am) [edit] |
don't cry because it happened,
smile because it's over
don't cry because it's over
smile because it happened.
tests tests tests
i'm glad that one day you'll be over
and i'll smile that you happened.:)
and for now, all i can possibly do is cross my fingers
put my heart and mind into you, and weave a beautigul tapestry.
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| observations |
| 02.06.04 (10:33 pm) [edit] |
sometimes i really think that humans are made to be un-able to tolerate stress and such.
it seems so.
well. and humans we... we supposedly are in charge or rather have control or priority over all animals and plants and non living things etc.
but, it seems like the only thing(the most important one, unfortunately) we cant control is our brains and thoughts and feelings.
i mean, you cant just tell yourself, oh stop that mourning over a lost chance . terrible marks/. lost friendship.
so yar....
i really wonder how free i am, since i have time to think about such things instead of doing homework.
no. goalsetting is not just about setting the intention to fulfil goals, but rather, the actions to fulfil them.
ah.
back to my headache.
which is lack of a good topic for a speech.
so much so i'm starting mine like this
[i]you can try and change for the future, but the future can never try and change for you[/i]which i'm so proud of:) even though yuj was the one who came up with it...:).. well. that's about the end of me manipulating language for remembrance.
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| cant wait for the new year!`` |
| 01.19.04 (9:22 pm) [edit] |
2004 will be a mark of brilliance.
it will take shape as such.
with heartfelt greetings for this new year.
may we all learn from the past, focus on the present
and anticipate the future.
and yes. blogging for me is like... erm... well. just say i ccant and possibly dont want to blog. esp with my degree going up, my internet usage being more and more costly, my homework.. eh, well, homework, we all know.so. once in a blue blue moon i'll come and blog.
till then.
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| new year. fresh starts |
| 01.11.04 (1:30 am) [edit] |
well. so far i'm coping fine with everything
everything i never imagined and everything i worried about.
or so i think.
workload may be kind of hard to get used to
just like i invariably still think of the 2/13 classroom...;
sometimes i even remember my pri sch classmates
the recess times and all.
but most of the time
i dont.
heh. that's 2004.
c'est bien, j'espere.
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| 20042004200420042004200420004000000 |
| 01.02.04 (2:37 am) [edit] |
[image]xinying_515368538.gif[/image]
000! i donno.
well. schedule is like :shock: but hiya. must make do make do.
maybe i wontbe blogging. or doing anything online.
cos i really feeln my eyes they need a break
a big fat one.
since WHEN did i become so over reliant on specS?
i dont remember how blur my world was
but it does seem blur-rer than ever.
i wish i could change this.
i guess if i ;m true and honest to myself.
that's about the only thing /resolution
i have for 2004.
star light star bright
give me my sight.
i want to see you
clearly in the light.
please..
or else obs will definitely give me a fright..
i cant rhyme liao.
night night.
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| Happy happy happy new year |
| 12.31.03 (10:23 pm) [edit] |
Me wishes all the above stated statement. yea.
also if you love money, may u be blessed with it
and if you love love, it's in abundance!
if you love friendship, you'll feel the warmness!
if you love family, kinship rawks the air!
whatever you love, there's a place for you in this big big world.
may you find that place.
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| psgl-ing |
| 12.28.03 (12:43 am) [edit] |
oh no... i think i am not. and i mean honestly
i cant look forward to next year's groupings..
maybe its not that bad. to mix around and all that
but.. why must it be WITH my own psgl group!~
as in.. those juniors and all..
why...
it's like this yr when i was their psgl
together with sm...
they showed no sign of respect.
need i go through it again?!
somemore its' working with them
not for them.
things seem bad.
never mind
must learn from challenges.
keep my spirit up
but before becoming hopelessly positive
i need to first grunt and ramble.
heh.
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| back[in the mood for christmas] |
| 12.18.03 (6:06 pm) [edit] |
back groggy from gatherings. friends. cousins. n family.
well. then i became really crabby cos i had to pack the house. oh n i guess this will be the last tblog i update for this year and next year my plan will be like... every month update? maybe longer. i look at my schedule and i know better than to come online next year like i did now. and then./well. i m not typing that way since this isnt a blog, more like just to let pple(if any)know about the future of this thingy. yar. well... since it's the last for 03/.. would like to wish ALL out there a merry christmas and let's all anticipate an enjoyable 04.
xin nian kuai le
argh i forgot how to spell the french one liao. correct me if i'm wrong
joyeux noveau annee!*with missing accents and weird spelling*
[i]I'm dreaming of a white christmas
just like the ones I used to know
where the tree tops glisten
and chrilden listen
to hear sleybells in the snow
I'm dreaming of a white cristmas
with every christmas card I write
may your days be marry and bright
and may all your christmas's be white[/i]
love. xinying.
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| lyrical star, lyrics that make me feel |
| 12.12.03 (4:31 am) [edit] |
i donno why this thing is messed up. i've never tried chinese in html before... oh anyway if you're really interested go [url=http://www.xuxule.com/lyric.a...]here[/url]
[b][u]有空 6469;坐坐 [/u]
口白) 朋友愈& #26469;愈多 但是寂& #23518;亦不&# 22240;此而 3569;一点
屋子里& #22914;果没&# 26377;没来 就感觉& #33258;己好&# 20687;孤伶 0278;的
站在十& #23383;路口&# 19968;样 窗外车& #27700;马龙
我的朋& #21451;们 想必也& #22312;里面&# 31359;梭不 4687;吧
而生活& #21448;不情&# 24895;只有 9968;种感# 273;而已
上班 只是另& #19968;种舞&# 21488; 平凡 但真实& #30340;
当然 寂寞亦& #19981;代表&# 31354;虚 在某些& #26102;候
避免不& #20102;的寂&# 23518; 可以让& #33258;己赤&# 35064;裸的 8754;对自 049;
想一想 我曾经& #33719;得了&# 20160;么 失去了& #20160;么
正追求& #20160;么 而答案 往往是& #22312;朋友&# 26469;了之 1518;
在开怀& #30021;叙之&# 38388; 浮印得& #26356;清晰
而心情 也往往& #22312;朋友&# 36208;了之 1518;
莫名的& #23433;定下&# 26469; 大家都& #24537;吧
连彼此& #30495;诚的&# 30456;互关 4576;一下 也要抽& #20010;空
也许这& #23601;是我&# 20204;共同 0340;悲哀 543;
朋友 真希望 有空来& #22352;坐
朋友 你是否& #36824;寂寞 (执着) 有什么& #20260;心话&# 36824;没有 5828;
(有什么 心事让& #20320;不敢&# 35828;) 请你有& #31354;来坐&# 22352;
来坐坐 朋友 明天要& #24448;哪走 我们都& #25226;作梦&# 30340;时间
用得太& #20037; 没有空& #25191;着 没时间& #25484;握 一杯红& #33590;
几句实& #35805; 胜过那& #31359;肠烈&# 37202; 岁月不& #26366;改变&# 20160;么
只能够& #23613;兴的&# 29983;活 朋友 烦恼 (梦想) 是这么& #22810;
我们 每个人& #37117;在承&# 21463; (追求) 请你 有空来& #22352;坐
有空来& #22352;坐[/b]
it really speaks about friendship to the core.
it also represents how i felt when i realised some old/new friends actually remember me, actually feel that i take up a part of their lives. yea. we actually treasure each other despite the hectic schedule and money minded society.
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| future? i actually have one? |
| 12.12.03 (4:21 am) [edit] |
just looking at liewqi's blog and decided to think
about my future career.
not that i haven been thinking about it.
well.
i think i [b]would [/b]like to be a pyschiatrist.
or a physiotherapist.
but it seems. so distant. so few and far between.
so impossible. as yet.
then. i think i [b]might [/b]end up being a doctor.
a teacher. *teacher in pri sch or dance or sth.*
a volunteer worker? yea. perhaps.
so much for thinking about my future.
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